


How Far You Can Go

by High_Holmes



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Background Relationships, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-07-31
Packaged: 2019-04-20 06:41:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 8,864
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14255187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/High_Holmes/pseuds/High_Holmes
Summary: Rosie has always been their little girl. Hasn't she?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This first chapter is kinds just a 'catch up' to get to when the story takes place.
> 
> I told myself I wouldn't post any of this until I had at least a complete draft. Oh well. Guess I kinda need some feedback or motivation to keep writing.
> 
> OK also yes, in this ace bandages are being used to bind. PLEASE for the love of god if you bind do it safely. Dont use ace bandages

After they figured out the thing with Sherrinford and Eurus things started to work themselves out. John and Sherlock got to work on fixing up 221b, with some help from Mycroft’s men of course. Mrs. Hudson was quite glad to get it all sorted, and secretly pleased when the smiley face and bullets were returned to the wall.

It was a few weeks after Baker Street was back to normal, or as normal as it was going to get. John had a house that was too big and expensive for just him and Rosie. Of course, the logical thing to do was look for a smaller house. That idea did cross his mind, but Sherlock gave him an offer he couldn’t seem to refuse. So, that’s how he ended up back in Baker Street after all those years away.

There were some concerns that John didn’t know what to do about. The biggest problem in the foreseeable future was the lack of bedrooms. Rosie was going to grow up and couldn’t share a room with John forever. For now, though, he would just allow that thought drift to the back of his mind. He enjoyed living with Sherlock again, he was never bored especially now that he had two "babies" to look after, as Sherlock once joked. He did have to baby proof the flat and set some rules for Sherlock. Sherlock for his part took it all very well, he seemed overjoyed in his own way that John was back.

Sherlock always offered to watch Rosie when John needed to do something else. He loved spending time with her and teaching her different things. It did take a while to teach her not to throw the things she wanted to keep. Whenever John saw him feeding her in the kitchen or on the floor in the living room he couldn’t help but smile to himself. This was the life he wanted, Him and his daughter with Sherlock Holmes by his side. This was his strange little family, and damn what people think about him and Sherlock.

~~~

By the time she was three, they couldn’t keep her still. She was constantly moving around the flat trying to get her hands on whatever she could. She became increasingly interested in Sherlock’s lab equipment which had to be moved and hidden in cabinets and drawers. This did, however, give Sherlock a chance to start teaching her basic things about science. John loved to sit in his chair reading while Sherlock was rambling about different topics with Rosie sitting on his lap.

Sherlock also loved watching John with, or even without, Rosie. When he made her lunch or asked about her day, not caring that he won't get an intelligible response. He has always liked John more than would be considered normal, especially considering he is normally viewed as an uncaring machine. He’s never done anything about it for multiple reasons, the biggest is the fear of losing John. The two year away didn’t help, nor did Mary. He would have to settle with the way things were with their own version of a domestic life.

Mrs. Hudson still gave them knowing glances when she saw them, regardless of how many times she was told they weren’t together. This started to happen more as John stopped denying it whenever it was brought up. Things were nice though, they still went on cases when Mrs. Hudson could babysit. It was somewhat often as she seemed to love Rosie just as much as John and Sherlock.

The cases they took changed a bit. They no longer took anything that could be too dangerous to them now that they had Rosie to look after. However, there were still a few cases that were more dangerous than they originally seemed. John had to patch Sherlock up a few time but the injuries were minor. 

~~~

Rosie was getting bigger as the months passed. This only brought back John’s concern about space. He was constantly trying to think of different ways to solve the problem that didn’t involve moving out. He had no luck and grew increasingly worried that at some point he and Rosie would have to leave. His problem, however, seemed to solve itself when Rosie was four.

John had a rough day at work, too many little kids with over concerned parents. You would think after John told them there child was fine they would be happy and leave instead of insisting something was wrong. It was Tuesday though, so John thankfully didn’t have work the next day. Sherlock noticed his foul temper when he got home and suggested they get someone to watch Rosie. This turned out to be a good and bad idea at the same time.

The night started with takeaway, it was John’s favorite from a Thai restaurant a few streets over. They were halfway through their meal when Sherlock went to the kitchen and got an old bottle of wine that had been sitting there for ages.

John looked at him skeptically but accepted the offered glass. The TV droned on in the background, neither were paying attention to it, they were more focused on the idle chit-chat they were having as they finished their meal. Once they finished eating and cleaned up a bit they went back to talking and finishing off the wine and later an old bottle of scotch that was already open. In hindsight it wasn’t that good of an idea, it had been ages since John has had this much alcohol.

That’s how he started talking about the things he normally wouldn’t. It started with him talking about how he liked Baker Street. It slowly progressed to him talking about how he didn’t want to leave but he would need to start looking for a house soon. Sherlock, a little drunk himself, stared at John in confusion. John got up and started to pace around a bit as he rambled. The thing that brought Sherlock to his feet was John saying he didn’t want to leave Sherlock again and that he liked this life.

Sherlock put his hands on John’s shoulders to stop him and get his attention. He told John he was being silly with this idea of leaving. After a bit of back and forth between the two, John realized how close they were. Sherlock’s arms were bent keeping John close as he kept telling John he didn’t need to leave. Then it happened, John collapsed into Sherlock for a moment before looking back up at him. He would be lying if he said he didn’t look at Sherlock’s lips. Sherlock noticed and did the same. Then suddenly Sherlock pulled him up and they were kissing.

The rest of the night was a bit of a blur. They did, after a few days of awkwardness, figure out the problem with the lack of rooms. Rosie now had her own.

~~~

Life continued as they sorted out their new relationship. Rosie continued to grow into her own little person. Now she was old enough to look at slides under the microscope. Sherlock loved showing her different things like a drop of blood or different kinds of animal fur. John started to let her help when he was making food. She would be there to crack an egg or tell him when to stop when he was measuring something out. She would even help to “patch him up” when he or Sherlock got a cut or scrape. She has gotten very good at applying plasters.

It took a bit of convincing because Sherlock refused to believe it at first, but John kept telling him that he was as much of a father to Rosie as John himself. He eventually did something Sherlock would never forget.

On his birthday when Rosie was six John came home with a surprise. He went out for a bit and seemed excited. Sherlock chalked it up to John putting too much emphasis on his birthday. Then after they ate dinner, with a slice of cake, John went to their room to get something. Sherlock honestly had no clue what John could have gotten him.

When John returned he had a folder. This surprised Sherlock slightly as he was expecting some generic sentimental gift. He was even more surprised when he opened it after John placed it in front of him. It was a birth certificate, Rosie’s birth certificate. However, there was some different about it now. The name had changed slightly and now read Rosamund Mary Watson-Holmes. Sherlock was speechless. After a moment or two, he stood up and walked around to table to John and pulled him into a kiss followed by a hug as he said thank you. John just told him he was Rosie’s father too.

~~~

Rosie was seven when she cut her hair. Luckily it was during the weekend so they had time to bring her to a hairdresser to fix it the best they could. It didn’t look that bad, it was a bit too short to be called a bob but it still looked fine. When she was asked why she did it she said she was trying to copy a boy from school who got a new haircut that she liked. John laughed and brushed it off as something kids do and told her to leave cutting her hair to the professionals. 

~~~

When she was nine she told John she wanted to play football. John, happy with the idea signed her up to a local youth team the next spring. Sherlock, even though he wasn’t at all into sports, enjoyed watching her immensely. John had to agree, it was great to sit on the side of the field and watch their little girl have fun. It also gave them something to do when they went to the park if they brought her ball.

~~

As she got older thing started to change. By the time she was thirteen, they went through the whole awkwardness of puberty. It was after all of that that things started to go wrong in ways that John and Sherlock didn’t notice. Rosie was normally a bright ball of joy. Suddenly she wasn’t a bright and only got dimmer as time went on. At first, it wasn’t noticeable. She still seemed the same, just maybe a bit more tired.

When she told John she didn’t want to play football anymore he was a bit concerned. She loved football, why would she want to stop. She told him it just wasn’t as fun anymore and that she was tired of it. John listened and she stopped playing. He was still concerned but still respected this new lack of interest.

Things continued to change in more noticeable ways. She used to always talk to John and Sherlock about senseless things and how her day was. Now she was starting to stick to herself more. That in and of itself wasn’t concerning, she still talked to them but she just seemed off, like she wasn’t herself. 

She was fourteen when she got her hair cut properly. She said she was going to her friend Sophie’s house, and to be fair she did. She went with Sophie to get it cut. It was properly short, there was an inch or two left on the top and the sides and back were shorter. She naturally didn’t tell Sherlock and John she was doing this. They walked around the city until they found a place that was willing to do a walk-in.

Her parents were surprised, to say the least. John was mad at the fact that she didn’t tell them but in the end, said it suited her. Sherlock agreed and said it’s her hair and that she should do what she wants with it.

This was also around the time the clothes started to change too. Instead of the t-shirts and tight jeans she always wore she was now constantly wearing a sweatshirt and baggy jeans. She still kept her beloved pair of converse though. John was hoping all of this was just some sort of rebellious teenager phase where she just wants to be her own person. He remembers when he was young, spending time with your parents isn’t always cool.

~~~

She was sixteen when things really changed. It was a Friday morning like any other. Sherlock was sitting at the kitchen table reading the newspaper while John was cleaning up the dishes from breakfast. Rosie was in the bathroom getting ready for school. She was taking a bit longer than normal and John himself needed to get ready for work. Once the dishes were in the sink John jokingly told Sherlock that he could help and that he was going to see what was taking Rosie so long.

As he walked down the hall he heard the water running from the sink. He knocked on the door but it was unlocked and it opened a little as hit it. He opened the door and called out to Rosie but it died in his throat. Rosie was standing there having just finished putting bandages around her chest. 

“Rosie..”, John was confused and didn’t understand why she would be doing that. It didn’t help that she quickly put her shirt on and rushed past him muttering about being late. She left with a quick goodbye to Sherlock leaving John in the hall feeling lost.


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, it's been a while. Sorry, school and all.  
> Anyway here's this.

John was left standing in the hallway with multiple thoughts racing through his head.

 _Was she hurt?_ She didn’t look like she was hurt. _Why would she be using bandages if she isn’t hurt? If she is hurt why wouldn’t she come to me? What happened to her?_

“John?” Sherlock’s call snapped him out of his spiraling thoughts. He quickly went into the bathroom to turn off the water and slowly walked to the kitchen to join Sherlock.

“Does Rosie seem ok to you?” he asked because he really can’t wrap his mind around this.

“Yes, more distant than she used to be but I think she just likes her privacy. Why? What happened back there? She seemed to be in a rush.”

“I don’t know. I really don’t,” John said as he stared down at the table.

~~~

His heart was pounding, more than it should be for his walk to school. He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Yes, partly due to the bandages on his chest but also the impending panic attack he was fighting off. His dad saw the bandages. He is either going to know or ask questions and then he’ll find out. Even if his dad didn’t figure it out there is no way it would get past his father.

He didn’t know what to do, he wouldn’t be able to answer any of those questions. So he does what he always does, he texts his best friend Sophie Brent.

 ** _Hey, can I come to yours after school?_ ** -R

 _ **Sure, just like normal. See you at lunch.**_ -S

Ok, he had a temporary escape. He could avoid having to go home right after school.

 ** _I’m going to Sophie’s after school._** -R

 _ **Rosie, are you ok?**_ -J  
_**Rosie?**_ -J  
_**Are you hurt?**_ -J  
_**Did you hurt yourself?**_ -J  
_**Was it something we did?**_ -J  
**_We’ll talk later ok?_ -** J  
_**Ok?**_ -J

  
He ignored his dad’s texts. He knew he shouldn’t and that his dad was obviously concerned but he just couldn’t deal with that right now. He just had to get through the day then he could properly talk to Sophie at her house. She has practically been his therapist for the past two or so years. He feels bad about constantly talking to her about all this stuff to her, but she says it’s fine. God, she’s a great friend what did he ever do to deserve her.

~~~

She wasn’t answering his texts. John started to pace in the kitchen, phone in hand. Sherlock was staring at him as silently willed his phone to give him a response.

Without his notice, Sherlock got up from the table and set down the newspaper he was reading. Suddenly there was a hand on his shoulder.

“John, what happened?”, at this point, Sherlock was concerned and slightly annoyed that he was being left out of the loop. John just shook his head and took a moment before answering.

“I don’t know. She was standing at the sink, but.. but she had bandages around her chest,” he paused trying to pull himself together, “ She didn’t seem hurt, she would have come to me, or us, wouldn’t she? And if she is hurt why would she hide it?” John still couldn’t comprehend what was happening. He was hoping this was some kind of misunderstanding, maybe he didn’t see thing the right way. Rosie was fine, right?

“John, I’m sure she’s fine. If she’s not, well, now we know and we can help. Ok.” He was right, Rosie was most likely fine and he was overreacting, being an overprotective dad. “Now, you either have to call in sick or go to work. There isn’t much we can do about any of this until she gets home from school, so I would suggest you go and distract yourself.” Of course, he still had work, leave it to Sherlock to be calm, collected and logical through something like this.

“Yeah, yeah of course. You’re right.”, then he remembered her text. “She said she was going to Sophie’s after school, then ignored the rest of my texts. Why wouldn’t she do that? She could at least text to say she was ok.” _Something has to be wrong. She would have answered otherwise. Wouldn’t she? What if -_

“John, she is fine. Or she will be. She normally goes to Sophie’s on Fridays anyway and she probably got distracted or already arrived at school, something that would prevent her from seeing your texts.” Sherlock was holding him by both shoulders at this point and looking him in the eyes. He looked like he normally did, like he was in charge of the situation, while John was finding it hard to keep himself together.

“Yeah, ok.” he took a breath, “work.” Before he could turn and leave Sherlock pulled him into a hug. It was nice albeit short and it made him feel loads better, and when Sherlock released him he grabbed his paper and went to the living room. After standing there for a moment John finally went back to the bathroom to get ready.

~~~

Despite what John might think Sherlock was, in fact, not calm. He was just good at masking his emotions for the benefit of others and himself. With all the thing John told him about what happened this morning he was growing increasingly worried. It also didn’t help that there was so much he didn’t know, didn’t understand, about what was happening.

He didn’t see the bandages so he didn’t know where exactly they covered or if it looked like she was potentially injured. She was also rushed this morning, barely muttering “bye” before she left. Otherwise, she had seemed the same, well the same as she had been the past few months maybe even a year. He remembers she used to be much more lively and constantly talking about the little things she did that day. He didn’t really get it.

Of course, he assumed it was a teenager thing. That she wanted more privacy or that she didn’t always want to be surrounded by her parents. He respected that, he might miss how she used to be but he respects her opinions and choices. As long as she’s happy.

 _Is she happy?_ There are so many things that the bandages alone could mean. When you threw in the recent change in mood and dress the number of possibilities increases tenfold.

They would just have to talk to her when she gets home.

~~~

He managed to get through the day. He was more zoned out than usual but that was a given. Things were okay for a bit when he saw Sophie at lunch. She could tell he was acting a differently than normal but he didn’t want to talk about it at school. When she asked he shook his head and she understood then started to talk about other things in order to distract him. It worked for a few minutes too. Then lunch ended and he was stuck with the constant thought of “just a few more minutes, you just have to survive a few more minutes.”

So when the end of the day did finally arrive he was relieved, to say the least. Packing up the rest of his things he went outside to wait for Sophie so they could walk to her house. He was there first like he normally was and took this time to look at his phone. He saw the first two texts his dad sent this morning but ignored the other four. Looking at them now made him feel sick.

His dad thought it was his fault. His dad saw him binding with bandages and thought he was hurt. Somehow he is blaming himself. It didn’t help that there was also a single message from his father.

 _ **You know you can talk to us if you need to.**_ -SH

Yes, he did know that, he just couldn’t. There is too much pressure to be their little girl, how on earth was he supposed to explain that he isn’t. Maybe if he just ended up being a lesbian it would be fine, they would be extremely hypocritical if they didn’t accept him for that.

However, that is not the case, he ended up being trans, and he has no idea how they’ll react to that.

He was lost in his thoughts when Sophie showed up and elbowed him in the ribs to get his attention.

“Ross, you gotta tell me what’s got you so stuck in your head today.” She said by way of greeting. She was happy and upbeat like always. He smiled a little as he responded.

“Yah I will, but let's just get to your place first. Ok”

“Fine, let’s get a move on then!” She all but yelled and grabbed his shoulder as they started their walk. He almost didn’t want to tell her anymore. He didn’t want to bring her down. Either way, she knew something was going on and he would have to tell her something. For now, he was content to just listen to her different stories about the day.

That didn’t last long though, as she lived a few blocks down from the school and they soon arrived at her house. He did, however, have a bit of time to put his thoughts together as they got snacks from the kitchen.

Her parents were at work so they had the house to themselves, so that was nice. It’s not like they don’t know he’s trans, Sophie told them a few months after he came out to her. It took a bit of convincing on her part but eventually, he allowed her to tell them. It was interesting, to say the least, they were completely supportive like Sophie was. They even know that on the rare occasion they talk to his parents to still call him Rosie.

When they got to her room Sophie threw her backpack into a corner and put his at the end of her bed. They talked a bit more as they finished their snacks but he could tell she wanted to ask again. It was now or never he supposed.

“Ok, so spill, what happened?” She asked for the third time today. This time she was calmer and looked more eager to just listen.

“Ok, ok”, he took a breath to steady himself,” So, something happened this morning. I was getting ready and my dad, well my dad walked in on me. Now it doesn’t seem bad but he saw the bandages.” Sophie opened her mouth to say something but he beat her to it, “I know it’s bad to use the bandages to bind and you tell me not to, I just, I can’t ok.” At this point, she did cut in.

“Are you still wearing them?” he nodded, “Ok, go take them off, I’ll give you a sweatshirt if it makes you more comfortable.” He looked down at his hands but nodded and did as he was told. A few minutes later he was back in her room wearing the offered sweatshirt, she also took this time to change out of her school clothes. They were sitting on her bed, side by side leaning against the wall. Now that she knew a bit about what happened she was more serious when she said, “Ok continue.”

“Yah, ok. Um… where was I.” He was stalling as much as he could now. He didn’t want to talk about it anymore. “Anyway, he saw the bandages and I left as fast as I could. I didn’t really get a good look at him but what I saw wasn’t good.”

“Wasn’t good, how?” She’s ever the therapist.

“I don’t know. He looked surprised, confused. I don’t know if he knows but he’ll ask questions. If he still somehow doesn’t get it there is no way my father won’t, he is a genius after all.” He was finding it hard to hold himself together, talking about all this and thinking about what would happen when he went home was too much. “I don’t think I can handle this, the questions, them finding out.”

And he lost it he started to cry. He normally didn’t cry, not in front of other people. It was always done solitarily in his room. Sophie pulled him in, resting his head on her shoulder as he shed silent tears. They stayed like that for a while before either of them said anything.

“You’ll be fine Ross. They love you, you know they do, it just might take time for them to get used to it.” Sophie said finally breaking the silence, “Here, let's watch something on the telly.”

And they did, Sophie got up and went to the corner of her room where there was an old TV set. It wasn’t the best or newest model but it worked. She got it when her parents replaced it with a new TV downstairs.

She turned it on and found a channel that worked for both of them and turned the volume up. Once that was sorted she went back to her spot on the bed next to Ross, again pulling him into a weird side hug. That’s how they spent the next few hours, watching TV and occasionally making little comments about the show. At some point, Ross moved so he could lay down and used Sophie’s lap as a pillow.

~~~

At around 6 they heard Sophie’s mom get home from work. Her dad wouldn’t be coming as he was out of the country for work. It was some business trip to America, Sophie mentioned it earlier that week. After a few minutes of hearing her shuffle around downstairs, they heard her come up the stairs and shout.

 

“Soph, I’m back! I’ve got takeout, Even some for Ross if he’s up here.” She said as she walked closer to the room they were in. Well, that just shows how often he came over to her house, at least on Fridays. She continued, “It’s from the Italian place down the road.”

At this point, Mrs. Brent popped her head through the door and smiled at seeing the way they were sitting. “Look at you two, come on before it gets cold, And turn the TV off, don’t need to make the bills bigger.” Then she left again. So, the two of them got up, turned the TV off, washed their hands and went down to the kitchen.

It was nice. The food was fantastic, although not as good as Angelo’s. They talked about each of their days, school was as boring as always and a colleague at work announced they were getting married. It was like they were their own little family, and Ross did consider them his second family.

After dinner, they moved to the living room and as it got later Ross became more withdrawn as he thought about going home. Sophie knew why and her mom did not. So, she got up and went to the kitchen to get them some tea, patting him on the shoulder as she passed. Mrs. Brent used this opportunity to ask her own questions.

“Are you ok, Ross?” Well, he guessed it was time to explain it a second time. However not in as much detail this time.

“Yeah, fine. It’s just, well, I think my dads know about, well me being ‘Ross’, or at least they’re going to ask questions and then find out.” He looked down at his hands again, “I don’t know, I just don’t think I’m ready for them to know.”

“Well, you can spend the night if you want more time.” At this moment Sophie walks in with a tray that has three cups of tea on it along with some milk and sugar.

“Did I hear Ross is spending the night? We can watch that movie I was telling you about!” She said as she set the tray on the table.

“He can spend the night if he wants.” They both look at him as he thinks about it.

 

Then he nods.


	3. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a bit shorter than the others, idk it ends at a good stoping point.

 It was getting late, around 9 pm, and Rosie still wasn’t home and John was getting worried. Then he got the text.

_**I’m spending the night at Sophie’s. See you tomorrow.** -R _

She’s spending the night. Now it definitely seems like she is avoiding them. She did say she would see him tomorrow, but when tomorrow? Will she show up before he has to leave for work or will he have to wait until after?

_**Ok, see you** -J _

_**Any idea when you’ll be back?** -J _

Still no answer to his texts.

Whatever this is, he doesn’t know. He just wants answers.

~~~

Sherlock was already sitting on their bed when John walked in. He was finishing up some work on his own laptop instead of John’s for once. He didn’t pay much attention to John as when about getting ready for bed. Then when John was coming back from the bathroom he stopped in the doorway before speaking.

“Rosie isn’t coming back tonight. She’s spending the night now.” Sherlock looked up then closed his laptop after a few seconds and put it on the nightstand. He kept looking at John as he held out a hand inviting John to take it and come to bed and after a moment he did.

He took Sherlock’s hand once he got himself settled. After a minute of silence, Sherlock turned off the lamp and spoke.

“She’ll be fine.”

“I know, can’t help but worry though. She’s definitely avoiding us now.” Sherlock couldn’t argue with that, for as often as Rosie went to Sophie’s she rarely spent the night.

“Maybe. Whatever this is we’ll figure it out. All three of us.” He looked over at John, looking at his outline from the little light provided from the streetlamps below. John looked over at him as well.

“Ok”

~~~

He woke around 7, Sophie was still asleep. The sun was still low in the sky and her window was still in the shade of the buildings across the road. He decided he would pack all his thing before he woke her up. He threw his school clothes in his backpack and spent a few minutes trying to find his bandages. Sophie always hides them when she can.

After awhile of unsuccessful searching, he gave up. Now it was closer to 8 than 7 and he figured it was ok to wake her. He went to the bed and shook her shoulder gently. Sophie woke and checked the time for herself trying to see if it was unreasonably early.

Finding the time to her liking she sat up and stretched. Ross stood at the door in the borrowed jumper and shorts. After a minute or two she got up and joined him as they walked down to the kitchen.

Once they arrived Sophie pulled out a box of cereal as Ross got the milk. They each made their own bowl and made idle chit chat about TV shows and school. Once the bowls were made the put everything away and headed to the table. There they found two notes.

They were both from Mrs.Brent. The first one was for Sophie telling her she had to do chores and when she would be home. The second simply said, “Hope things go well Ross.” He was quiet as they ate breakfast now that he remembered what awaited him at home.

They finished their food mostly in silence, Sophie would occasionally make a comment on something or other. She took both of their bowls back to the kitchen and Ross stayed sitting. When she came back Ross stood up and went back to her room, trying to prepare himself to go home. He went to his bag and took his trousers from yesterday so he could give back Sophie’s shorts.

He passed her on the way to the bathroom, “Do you mind if I keep the jumper for now? I’ll give it back on Monday.”

“Sure, it’s fine.” She replied as he closed the door.

Once he changed he spent a few minutes staring at himself in the mirror. He hated it, he looked 12. His face was too round, voice too high, hips too wide, and now he had to do something he wasn’t ready for. He shook his head and went to get his stuff.

He grabbed his bag and made sure his bandages were still there as Sophie put the shorts in the laundry. She was just looking out for him, he knew that, but he still needed them. Satisfied that they were still there they walked down to the front door.

Sophie opened the door and then hugged him, he hugged back, it was nice. It lasted longer than a normal hug and used the time to finally say something.

“Call if you need, yah?” She said in a whisper.

“Course, I’ll be fine.” He said, not to sure about the statement.

“Ok, see you at school then. Be safe.” She said with a final squeeze then stepped back to look at him. He looked back for a moment and nodded.

“Later.” He said as stepped out the door and started his walk home.

~~~

It was 8:09 when John woke up. He knew he would most likely have to leave before Rosie came home, it was still somewhat early. He still wished he could see her before had to leave.

He ate breakfast with Sherlock, showered, and got read. When 9 o’clock came around he had to leave, Rosie still wasn’t here. He gave a quick kiss to Sherlock before he walked down the stairs.

~~~

The walk from Sophie’s house to his house took around half an hour. He left at 8:40 so he should get home around 9:10, after his dad left for work. He didn’t know if that made it better or worse. Sure, he had more time before he would have to face him, but he was still going to see his father.

He had no idea his father knew about the situation, if he knew anything at all. Of course, he had to know something, his dad would have told him about it. He kept thing about the different scenarios that could take place when he got home.

This, of course, lead to spiraling thoughts that progressively got worse the longer he thought about it. He got pulled into his own head and didn’t even realize he turned onto Baker Street until he looked up and noticed Speedy’s in the distance. He immediately stopped. He waited a minute before continuing at a much slower pace.

He paused again when he reached his front door. With his hand on the handle, he took a deep breath and then went in.


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, sorry it took so long. I was finishing school and then the first week of summer was kinda shit for me mentally. Anyway here this is, enjoy.

He opened the door and slowly started his ascent up the stairs. Once he got to the landing he paused for a moment looking at the closed door. _Maybe he could just go up to his room._ So, that’s what he tried, he walked passed the door and went towards the stairs. He didn’t get very far.

“Rosie?” his father called as soon as he put one foot on the first step. He paused again, waiting to see if his father would call again. He did, “Rosie, could you come here?”

OK, he could do that, if he could just force himself to move. He felt stuck. Then after a few minutes where he was close to hyperventilating, he turned around. He closed his eyes for a moment before taking a step towards the door. The handle turned slowly and quietly under his hand and then slowly opened as he pushed it open.

His father sat in his chair, hands steepled in front of him. Ross stopped just in front of the door and then said in a voice that was close to a whisper and much too high, “Yes?”

Curious eyes looked at him, a gaze that is normally meant for crime scenes. He probably looked like an anxious mess, but who knew what his father saw.

~~~

Sherlock looked at his daughter, actually looked. She was wearing a sweatshirt that wasn’t hers, most likely Sophie’s. She was tense and pulling into herself, staying as close to the exit as she could. Her face was set but still showing underlying tension. She seemed like she was trying her hardest to breathe normally.

“Are you ok?” he asked with all seriousness. He didn’t know why she was acting like this and there was still everything John had told him about yesterday morning.

“I’m fine,” she said quietly now looking at the floor, “can I go to my room?”

“Rosie,” he sighed, “ are you sure? John said you had bandages on your chest yesterday. If you’re hurt you can tell us. Please.” He said the last part softly in a way that he only used with her.

“I’m fine,” she repeated, now she looked like she was on the verge of crying, “ it’s nothing. Can I go?”

Sherlock stood up after this, Rosie looked up at him then looked down again as he walked toward her. Once he was in front of her he took the strap of her backpack and lifted it off her shoulder and placed it on the floor. Then he pulled her into a hug.

“Please, you can talk to us.” He whispered into her hair, it was longer than she normally liked, she would need a haircut soon. “OK?”

At this point she did cry, it wasn’t loud, just quiet sobs into his shirt. Then she finally wrapped her arms around him. They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time as she calmed herself down. Once she stopped crying she finally spoke again.

“I’m not hurt.” It was slightly muffled by his shirt. He pulled back a little, still holding onto her but enough to look at her properly.

“Then what’s going on Rosie.” Once he said her name he notices her mouth quirk down into more of a frown, she also started to breathe more heavily through her nose. “Rosi-”

“Stop, please.” She interrupted his question. Her breathing continued to grow heavier as she spoke again. “Just... Just give me a minute.” She kept her head down, forehead on his shoulder, as she started to get her breathing under control. Then, after a few minutes, she looked up at him.

She looked scared and lost. Her face was still tense and it made her look uncertain about what she was going to say. Then she lowered her gaze to over his shoulder so that she wasn’t looking directly at him. She took an unsteady breath and spoke.

“Da, what would you think if… if you... Um..,” She stumbled through the question, taking unsteady breaths as she seemed to stare off unseeingly, “ if you didn’t have a daughter, but a... Son?”

Sherlock froze. _What?_

~~~

He got the question out. Of course, he was hiding behind hypotheticals that clearly weren’t hypothetical, but he got it out. He continued to breathe a bit unevenly as he waited for his father’s response. His father didn’t say anything.

Thinking about it the question probably didn’t make sense. His father was expecting something bad or something of concern. He just asked a question that didn’t imply he was trans in the slightest.

“What? What is this about?” His dad finally asked. Of course, he didn’t understand, Ross didn’t blame him.

“What, um, what would you think if _I_ was your son? Not your daughter.” he got out. There, that was a more direct question, he should get something out of it. Ross dropped his arms, he was still being held by his father but wouldn’t look him in the eyes.

“Um, I don’t know. You would still be my child, nothing would change, I would think. Rosie, what are you trying to get at?” Ok, so he still didn’t get it. Ross started to breathe heavily again, he was going to have to say it. No beating around the bush.

So that’s what he did, in the quietest of whispers, “I’m not a girl, Da. I.. I’m not..” He looked down again as he was getting close to a panic attack.

He was waiting for his father to be confused or outraged. Waiting for him to say he was wrong, that he was his daughter and didn’t know anything. Really there was no reason to think this, both of his dads loved him and should accept him. However, there is always that fear and doubt that makes you think the strangest things.

“Ok, so you’re not a girl. That’s fine,” his father said in a quiet and calm voice. Ross looked up confused and started to get his breathing under control, “just talk to me, ok? Tell me what's going on and help me understand.”

Was it that simple? It couldn’t be, could it? He continued to look at his father for a moment then nodded. He pulled away from the hug and went to sit on the sofa. He looked at the floor again as his father walked to sit next to him.

He was going to do this. His father seemed to be ok with him being trans, even if he didn’t understand it. He was still nervous, of course, but he felt a bit better about it now.

So, once his father sat down he started to explain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, these poorly written emotions are real. I'm terrified to talk to my dad about being trans this weekend even though I'm 99.99% sure he's cool with it.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two updates within a week of each other. What is this?  
> I think I had a bit more inspiration this weekend.

So, once his father sat down he started to explain. 

He went through everything in a way that you could almost call clinical. He detached himself from everything he could. He explained everything by definition, what being trans was and how dysphoria played into it. He explained how most trans guys transition and the different aspects of it.

His father took in a breathe, “So, does that mean you want to go by another name?”

“Yah, Sophie calls me Ross” 

~~~

Sherlock wasn’t going to lie, the implications of that last sentence hurt. His daugh- son told Sophie about all this before him and John.  _ How long has she known? Were they ever going to be told about this? _

“Ok, Ross,” he said slowly, “that’s.., ok.” He didn’t know how to react, he was surprised. He obviously didn’t want Rosi- _Ross_ to think he didn’t care and didn’t accept her- _Him._ _This was going to be hard, he can’t even use the right name properly._ He continued, “It’s all fine, I still love you, Ok?”

“Yeah, ok.”  _ He  _ took a breath, “Can I go now?” Sherlock nodded and his child stood and walked to the door. Sh- he stopped though, right in front of the door. “Could you maybe talk to Dad about this for me? I don’t think I could do all, that, again.” He motioned towards where they were sitting as he said the last part.

“Of course.” Sherlock said and his  _ son _ turned and walked through the door and upstairs.

Ok, this was fine, this would work. It might take time to think of his child as his son, but he would try if it made  _ him _ happy. Sherlock was sure John would do the same, he just had to wait for him to come home.

~~~

 He went up to his room,  _ he just did that. How could it have gone that well?  _ Ross didn’t know what to do with himself. His father was obviously shocked and didn’t ask much, he’ll probably have lots of questions once everything sinks in.

He still had to deal with his dad though, so he couldn’t get too relaxed. He checked his phone, it was nearing 10:40. Everything downstairs took longer than he thought. His Dad would be back around noon, so he had time to kill. He decided to text Sophie.

**So, my father was cool w/ it**. -R

**Told you. What about your dad?** -S

**He’s still @ work. And my father is going to**

**talk to** **him for me.** -R

**It’s gonna be fine Ross.** -S

**Yah, I know, thx.** -R

Not much time passed, he still had about an hour until his dad gets back.

An Hour seemed to pass much faster than he expected and soon he heard the sound of his dad walking up the stair to the main part of the flat. Luckily he stayed downstairs and didn’t come straight up to his room.  Soon he heard the soft murmurs of his parents talking.

~~~

John didn’t have many patients that day and he was grateful for it. He was to focused on Rosie as he waited for the time he could go home and hopefully see her. When the end of his shift came around he left quickly with barely a word to the receptionist. 

When he finally got home he had half a mind to go straight up to Rosie’s room to see if she was there. He didn’t though, he went into the living room where Sherlock was. He wasn’t doing anything, he just sat there thinking, and he didn’t seem to realize John was home.

“Sherlock? Did Rosie come back yet?” He asked and Sherlock’s eyes darted over to him as he just realized he was there.

“Yes.” He said simply. John nodded and turned to go upstairs to talk to her but Sherlock stopped him. “John, come here please.”

“Ok..?” John didn’t know why Sherlock called him, his voice was also off in a way John couldn’t pinpoint. Sherlock was on the sofa so he went to join him. “Did you talk to her?”

“Yes, I did.” He took a breathe, “John... I don’t know how to say this.” He paused but realized that could sound bad so he added, “She’s fine, so don’t worry, it’s nothing bad.”

“Ok.” John didn’t know what was going on and despite what Sherlock said he was worrying. Sherlock rarely stumbled over his words.

“John, Rosie said… that she… she isn’t a girl. That she is our son not our daughter.” He got out.

_ What? _

~~~

Sherlock now understood why Rosi- Ross was nervous about talking to them. He needed to tell John and he had no clue how to do that. He knew John would be fine with it, he had to be, for  _ Ross’  _ sake. 

So that’s what he did. He told John when he came home, even if he stumbled through it. When he got it out he saw John pause and take it in, probably similar to the way he did when he was told.

He had questions of course, Sherlock answered what he could based on what Ross told him.  _ Maybe this name thing won’t be too hard.  _ There were some questions that John would have to ask Ross herse- himself.  _ Maybe not. _

Sherlock was still a little nervous. He wasn’t sure how John would react and he isn’t sure what John now being stuck in his own head meant. He said John’s name and he didn’t seem to notice until he put a hand on his shoulder.

“John, go talk to… him.” He said. John looked at him, licked his lips and opened his mouth to say something but closed it again. He took a look at the door to the stairs and then spoke.

“Ok.” He said simply as he stood and left the room.

Sherlock realized what John’s somewhat strange behavior meant and had a feeling John would have even more problems adjusting to this than he would.


	6. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy, it has been a while, sorry. There was the 4th of July then I kinda hit a rough patch.  
> Anyway, idk if I'll be writing more or less with school starting next month, I'm also stressed about that, having to come out and all.
> 
> Anyway here is a long overdue chapter.

Ross heard someone walking up the stairs to his room. It wasn’t just anyone, he could tell by the sound of the footsteps that his dad had finally decided to come up. He was sitting on his bed staring at the floor waiting for the door to open.

His dad paused when he got to the landing and then the handle on the door was turning. Ross didn’t look up, he was going to wait for his dad to make the first move. He was expecting his dad to say something from the doorway. However, he just stood there for a minute or two.

Then he walked into the room and sat down next to Ross on the bed. He was surprised when he felt an arm wrap around his shoulder and pull him into a side hug. Ross still didn’t move as his dad rested his chin on top of his head.

“Ok,” his dad finally said, “I don’t know how to do this.” Ross just nodded in response knowing his dad would feel the moment. “I’ll need time, I think, and probably some help with… everything.”

“Yeah, I don’t really expect much. If you can’t do it or deal with it I wouldn’t be surprised.” Ross replied. It was true after all. He never expected either of his parent to be 100% when it came to him being trans. He also understands that if they are accepting it wouldn’t be easy to suddenly change the way they looked at him.

“Rosie…” His dad paused when Ross tensed slightly in his arms, “Ross, was it. That’s what I’m talking about. It’s will take me time to process everything and I’ll probably need help to say the right things.”

“Ok.” He said and his dad sighed.

“I mean it, ok. If I mess up and say the wrong thing I want you to correct me, yeah.” Ross could only bring himself to nod. “ Ok, good, yeah, we’ll be good.”

His dad stood up after one last hug and went to the door. He paused and looked back for a second before walking out the door and down the stairs. That was when Ross let himself relax as he fell back onto his bed.

He loved his dad, of course, but all of this is too much. He just wants to be alone, Maybe with Sophie, but not his parents. He’s not looking forward to questions and his dads potentially walking on eggshells around him now that they know.

~~~

John walked downstairs taking in a few steadying breaths. When he walked back into the living room he immediately went to sit with Sherlock who was still on the couch. When he sat down he hugged his husband and just breathed.

Sherlock didn’t say anything as John did this and he was almost glad about that. He still had a lot to think about all of this. Rosie… or maybe Ross, he didn’t know, how would she know? What if she is wrong or it’s some kind of phase? John didn’t know what to think even with Sherlock’s explanation, which wasn’t the best but John doesn’t blame him. He would need to ask Rosie.

Rosie, his little girl, says she is his son. 

~~~

The afternoon passed by with a strange silence. Once John finally got up he went to make tea. Sherlock still sat there and got lost in his thoughts.

He didn’t know how John was taking this, he hasn’t said anything. Sherlock didn’t think it was too bad, he didn’t hear any yelling when he went upstairs to talk to… Ross. Ross, his son, not his daughter.

~~~

Ross spent the afternoon doing nothing, literally. He occasionally checked his phone to see how much time he had until he would be called for dinner, he didn’t know how that would go. 

He otherwise did nothing. He wasn’t even thinking about anything really. He just stared at the wall in front of his bed. If he did start thinking about things he would shut it down because if he started thinking his thoughts would wander into bad places.

He doesn’t know how to handle this. He doesn’t know how they will handle this. His parents now know that he isn’t their daughter.


End file.
